I can’t believe it! It’s 2018, Steven is still cancer-free and I think I might be starting to like people again. I’m definitely not grouchy all the time anymore, and when I see an idiot out in public, I can actually feel a little compassion for the poor wanker rather than getting pissed off that he/she broke out of protective custody to screw up my world!
I don’t know if it’s the relaxation of retirement, the joy in being G’s Nana and knowing that in April when he gets promoted to “Big Brother” I’ll also have another little boy-chick to call me Nana…or if it’s just the happiness in another year where Steven doesn’t have cancer. Whatever it is, it’s making me feel like I did when I was in my 20s. I feel hope and anticipation and expectation of good things. WTF? When did I get so goopy? Did it happen all at once, or was it a gradual ripening into a sweet little old lady who neither looks or feels old? Don’t know, don’t care! I’m just liking it.
Not having to go to a stressful job where other people’s drama gets my panties in a wad is awesome. That part of retirement is the bomb. I highly recommend it! The being on a budget thing isn’t my cup of tea, but I’m doing it because everything else is so great. I spend my days with Steven and we really enjoy the company of each other. After so many years of me trying to work hard enough to keep our insurance and earn enough to pay all the co-pays and out of pocket expenses of before, during and after lymphoma treatments of every variety, it’s great to have him healthy. And even better that I get to be around him to enjoy it for a change.
Also knowing that the world is now to the point that treatments for blood cancers are quickly approaching the cure is a huge relief. Even though we try not to expect anything bad, we are realists and know that shit happens. So even after the stem cell transplant, we have anxiously awaited the coming of the cure. And just this morning we saw a great story on Fox Business Channel about the advances the Celgene company has made in a drug to be released mid-2018 that will be a lifesaver for blood cancer patients. So help is on the way, and advancements are coming to make treatment less life threatening and more effective. If that isn’t hopeful new for the new year, I don’t know what is. Now that I know Steven no longer has an expiration date stamped on his ass, I’m planning on having him around for a long time. And do I have a “Honey-Do” list for him!
So in case you can’t tell, I kinda made a New Year’s resolution this year. It was really simple. Be nice. That’s it…just be nice. Don’t be a dick, don’t bust asses for fun and profit, don’t make things harder than they have to be and just get along. That all falls very non-specifically under “Be Nice” yet without so much detail that I gave up on January 2. And it takes all pressure off everyone else in my world. If I resolved to “be nice to every asshole” you would know that when I treat you nicely that meant I think you are an asshole. If I’m nice to everyone, we all win. Who would of thunk it?
I’m finding with the simple act of being nice, potential problems are smoothing themselves out. No negativity to be attracted here. Because I realized that a resolution is more than one thing. It is defined as a firm action to do or not do something. As in DO be nice, DO NOT be a dick. But it also means the action of solving a dispute, problem or contentious matter. And it seems that in my case if I do one, I get the other. And what retiree on a budget doesn’t like a BOGO?
So today I’m putting in Day 3 of making Mango Chutney. Why? Because Steven likes it (as do I) and because I have the time and because I can. Sunday I peeled cut and chopped fruit for hours and mixed up the potion to steep it all in two huge industrial, cafeteria size Hellman’s Mayo jars. Yesterday was shaking and moving the jars to make sure the flavors all married and brewed. And today is the final step of chopping and adding the rest of the ingredients and then cooking off the gallon of vinegar until I’m left with the tangy, sweet and spicy chutney. And for the first time in years it’s a joy. Because I have the time, and the energy and the right attitude to make this monster vat of goodness. And it feels nice…just like me!