I’m Happy to Say, “My Husband is a Pain in the Ass!”

DUMBASSThat’s right!  I said it!  Steven is a pain in the ass!  He’s pissy and needy and demanding.  He’s driving me crazy and I think that’s AWESOME!  It means he’s getting better!  Sick people don’t generate these feelings in normal people…or even cranky, bitchy people like me!  Even WE feel empathy for sickies, we feel sorry for them, we feel caring towards them.  “Well people” exhibiting the same behavior are a pain in the ass.

Steven’s blood pressure is still unbelievably low.  In clinic this morning, he tested at 71/53.  And that was after walking to the front entrance of the hospital in 88 Blood Pressuredegree weather and then having me wheel chair him up to the 7th floor…which may or may not have involved a minor crash into the elevator wall, a close call in almost knocking over an industrial trash can and parallel parking job that nearly crushed another patient.  But even after all that, which by the way made him a little snippy, low blood pressure comes with the common-sense safety precaution of monitoring his every move.  Only now that he’s back on the outside where reality involves gravity, there are moves that he thinks he can make…but probably can’t.  Unfortunately, if anything bad happens where gravity introduces his bald head to the rough concrete, it’ll be on my watch…it’ll go on my permanent record.  So it’s safer and will make me look better if I just wait on him…and damn, he wants a lot!

I need my charger, I need my meds, I need something to drink, I need to go to the bathroom, I need to take a shower, I need to eat, I need, I need, I need.  Do you know what I need?  I need him to shut his pie hole and let me collect my thoughts.  Yesterday he was in a safe bed with everything at everyone’s fingertips.  If he needed help there was a nurse who was only caring for him and the guy next door.  Granted it was a 12 hour shift of constant care, but she didn’t have laundry or errands or calls from work, the insurance company or AT&T.  She was already AT work and also had a PCA to help her if both patients needed her at the same time.  And there were about 4 techs running around assisting the nurses and PCAs.  And they were all in a goddamned hospital where everything was set up for the ease of all of those rat bastards.

MOANING IN BEDNow it’s just me, trying to navigate a glorified hotel room, a regular bathroom and an average mid-sized SUV to cater to his every need.  And, by the way, I still have that arthritic toe (read my 2nd post ever – My Guide To Surviving Cancer) so I’ve got my own aches and pains that slow me down.  And after almost a whole year of cancer being the focal point of our lives, I’m a little tired.  I’m tired of rushing to work without getting everything organized before I leave.  I’m tired of racing out of work knowing I’m already exhausted but I have a million things that still need tending at home.  I’m tired of driving from Satellite Beach to Orlando or Gainesville.  I’m tired of trying to figure out how to put in a full week’s worth of work into 3 days.  And I’m tired of always being 3-4 weeks past due for a hair cut or pedicure or washing my own underwear.  So I’m getting a little cranky.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I can see Steven is finally on his way back to recovery after a really hard hit.  It’s just not quite here yet and we’re both in that vortex of irritation.

Today we were in the out-patient chemo room on the 7th. floor of the BMT wing at Shands. I could see our old stomping ground Chemo Room 6-18-15from there.  But instead of getting infused in a bed, Steven was in one of the comfy chemo loungers.  The nurse had given him a plumped up pillow and 3 warmed blankets to keep him cozy.  And all the patients there were wearing street clothes because when the IV pump beeps that it’s done, we all got to leave.  We get in our respective cars and go somewhere that is not a hospital.  And I am so happy that we’ve finally come this far.  I could see the stem cell collection room from there, where we started our journey.  And I could see our future in front of us, with all the fabulous new experiences yet to come.  And now, I can see Steven getting back his strength and stamina and energy.  And I just pray that I have a little more patience to get to that time.  Because sometimes, with a pain in the ass, you imagine him asleep as you hold a pillow over his face…

And if you’ve never felt that way about someone you love, then you’re a big fat liar.  I just say what other people think and I think we all have had similar thoughts sometime.  In reality, I know I’m the luckiest woman in the world.  Steven and I have come so far in this incredibly challenging situation that I’d never really kill him, I’ve got too much time invested in convincing him I’m a trophy wife, that the world revolves around me and he’s the luckiest man in the world…and he is…which makes us the perfect mates!

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widgetTHIS IS IT! Unfortunately, we don’t know when Steven will be released from Shands or how long we’ll be at Hope Lodge afterwards. What that means is that I don’t know how much time I’ll be away from work without pay. I’ve only got 2 sick days and 1/2 a vacation day left and our bills still keep coming! If you think you’d like to help us, we’d really appreciate it. Visit our GO FUND ME page and drop a bit in the hat if you have some to spare.

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Everything You Want to Know About a Bone Marrow Transplant…But Didn’t Know Who to Ask

th-2One of the scariest things about this bone marrow transplant (BMT) was not knowing what it would be like.  You can read and research, you can ask and you can even get some answers.  But it’s not the same as it is when you are right in the moment.  I was lucky enough to be paired with a BMT survivor through BMT InfoNet.  Jim is about Steven’s age and went through a transplant 10 years ago.  We spoke on the phone and he answered all my questions.  And I felt better.

Through no fault of Jim’s though, I find that as we go through the process, many of his answers were a little blurry.  And then it hit me…this is like having a baby.  All mothers will tell you the birthing process is uncomfortable, but worth every minute of it.  But if you’ve ever been near a preggo ready to squirt one out, reality is about the moaning, yelling, cursing and sweating.   It makes you wonder how they can tell you that childbirth is the most beautiful thing in the world.  What happens is that mothers are immediately fogged over as soon as the baby is placed in Mom’s arms.  In other words, the they can tell you what they think it was like, but their reality has been already colored by the joy of the event and what they remember is very blurry!  The joy of a second chance at good health and a happy life is the same!

So as a public service, and because I’m such a giver, I’m going to try to document this as we go.  I’ll tellSteven & Dr Sprawls you what really happens, how it looks and how Steven tells me he feels for the next couple of months.  Hopefully this will help the next patient standing at the BMT doorway wondering what’s on the other side.

Lets do a quick pre-quel, as they do in the movie business.  This time Steven’s cancer came back and he had 4 rounds Rituxan & bendamustine chemo that seemed like it worked after the first two rounds, and then showed that it didn’t work after the scan following the second two.  So it was time to talk BMT.  He then had 2 rounds of RICE.

RICE sucks. It works, but it sucks.  I’m not trying to scare you but the RICE was a lot harder on him than the R+CHOPS.  Although for us, his cancer was progressing pretty aggressively before we got to the first round, so that could have had something to do with the side effects.  Quite frankly, the second round of RICE went a whole lot easier because the cancer was knocked out after round 1!  But the oncology way always seems to be “one more for good measure”.  Originally we talked about 4 rounds of RICE…but it worked so well that we were thrilled to skate by with 2 rounds.  The PET scan after that second round showed no cancer in his body…finally!

BEE LINESo that brings us to our last trip up here to Shands.  It was really just an in-depth evaluation.  But know that when I say “in-depth” I mean I was happy to get out without a colonoscopy!  We were busy almost every minute of all three days.  Nurses drew blood every morning.  A quicky, right-in-the-exam-room bone marrow biopsy came next.  They needed to test his bone marrow just to make sure there were no funky cells, that his bone marrow was normal and that he still had some and it hadn’t turned into Play Doh after all the chemicals that have been pumped through him in the last 10 years!  I was surprised that they just gave him a happy pill, a few dentist type shots near the site and boo-ya, we’re going in!

We ended the day with a 3 hour talky-talky visit with a case worker.  Gale couldn’t have been nicer, and it turned out she was a 15 year BMT survivor, so it was a blessing to meet her.  But we talked about EVERYTHING.  Family, friends, work, home, pets. vacations, money, religion, marriage(s), mental health and every sidebar you can think of that would pertain to any of those topics.  She took notes, and by the time I realized this was all going in a report, it was too late to stop wise cracking! Luckily, she laughed at all the stupid stuff I said, but she did tip me off to the afternoon appointment for day 2.  A real shrink.  She didn’t say I should shut my pie hole, but I got the message!

Day 2 started with more blood & pee tests (for him…not me) and then came the really SCARY part.  Cue  the creepy music because we were about to meet the Finance Coordinator!  This time block on our agenda put fear in my veins for the entire week preceding the appointment, but it was surprisingly comforting  when it came around.  Carolyn had already researched our insurance, explained to us why it was so crappy and told us not to worry about anything.  She went over a bunch of forms and filled in every blank in order to get us all the benefits she could possibly squeeze out of every avenue.  It was surprisingly comforting to feel like we had a new person on our financial team of 1 (me).  I have recently learned that some hospital billing people, like Stink Eye, can be heartless.  But there are caring, helpful coordinators in every facility.  And if you are having a problem with yours, ask to speak to someone else.  Ask for a manager.  Ask them to cut it out.  You can work through all the billing crap, but you have to ask.  It’s rare that it starts off the way it has at Shands, but I’ll take it.  We deserve the break!

Our next appointment was more like a class than a meeting.  We met a research nurse whose purpose was to educate us on the entire process, go over ALL the forms Steven would be signing with the doctor on the following day and to make sure we understood everything.  It took over an hour and I was thankful there wasn’t a pop quiz.  But we did get homework.  We were given copies of all the forms that Steven would be signing, and told to look them over and call her if we found anything that needed further explanation.  She gave us a short lunch break so we made a bee line to the hospital cafe for some eats!

After lunch we met with the BMT coordinator Carey who went over the scheduling ins and outs with explanations of why all the ins and outs were in place with humor and ease.  It really is easier to follow rules when you understand why.  And then we finished up with a tour of the BMT wing, we saw a room and bath, the futon where I could sleep, where the refrigerated snacks and drinks are located, met nurses, yukked it up and got one more warning…and then we were off to see the shrink.

Steven was taken back ALONE, and I was relieved at first…and then worried the more I thought about it. We were told not to joke around, and that was usually pointed at me.  But now that Steven thinks he’s funny by osmosis, I kept cringing at what might be happening.  But after 45 minutes, she returned him to me and took me back for a quick chat.  She really just wanted us to understand what we were getting into, how this was going to affect our lives and most importantly to make sure we were both up for the challenge.  She asked a few questions based on things Steven discussed and we were done.  Apparently we passed!

Hope LodgeThe third day was another full battery of tests for Steven.  More blood and pee, chest X-ray, ECHO / EKG, a pulmonary test and probably more stuff that we didn’t even realize were being tested.  We had a break before we met with our doctor and were able to squeeze in a mandatory visit to The American Cancer Society Hope Lodge.  Carey, our BMT coordinator hooked us up with this amazing opportunity.  The ACS has a few of these facilities across the US in various towns.  It is a godsend housing opportunity where the ACS puts patients and their caregivers up, FOR FREE, while undergoing cancer treatment.  Again, lots of rules. But definitely a gift!  If you need to get treatment outside of your normal commuting area, check out the HOPE LODGE IMG_1061opportunity.  We were accepted as guest/patient and are staying here now.  This location is about 2 blocks from the hospital.  It’s walkable for a regular person.  For a chemo patient without a car, there is a van that will take you to your appointments.  And there is a feeling of camaraderie because in every couple, there’s one bald partner…if you know what I mean.  Not for nuthin’ but the Hope Garden doesn’t suck either…if you’re in to that peace and tranquility Zen thing!

The last part of the evaluation process was meeting with our newest oncologist.  Dr. Norkin went over all IMG_1056the test results, told us that a few more would take time to get back, but it looked like we were right on track to move forward.  Steven signed the official documents giving everybody permission to do everything necessary to keep him alive, and we headed home.

After a week off to organize life at home, we checked in to Hope Lodge yesterday after Steve ‘s 8 AM injection at Shands.  Steven is getting Neupogen shots and will continue to get them at 8 AM and 6 PM every day for a total of 8 days.  During the last 4 days of the series, Steven will be going through apheresis to collect stem cells for his autologous stem cell transplant (which is the same thing as a bone marrow transplant).

I’ll fill you in as we go through it…and now you’re up to speed.  Except for today.  We arrived at Shands IMG_1072waaaaaaay before the butt crack of dawn today.  He was taken into the outpatient surgery unit and as soon as we walked through the doors and I smelled that hospital sanitized OR adjacent smell, I started getting woozy.  I hate this part.  Steven, on the other hand, was totally enthralled with a new piece of information that he learned today.  Being a teaching hospital, Shands has been awesome with cutting age technology and procedures.  We have a phone app for Steven’s interactions with All Things Shands.  The app updates continually with test results, appointments, drug lists and any other thing we might want at our fingertips.  The hospital and lab equipment seem to be the latest and the greatest, but the thing that Steven was most impressed with…the newest toy that he now wants for Christmas…and an appliance that is sure to become the punch line to many a joke is:

IMG_1070

It’s called Bair Paws and it’s like an old style bonnet-type hair dryer.  And whoever came up with this is IMG_1071genius because who doesn’t love getting hot air blown up his / her skirt?

And that is exactly what you see.  There is a hole in the hospital gown that connects to the hose and warm air is blown, literally, up you dress…or if you turn over, up your ass!  And as soon as it was hooked up, Steven decided this was a little slice of heaven on earth and couldn’t have cared less about what was going to happen next, as long as they didn’t take his hot air machine away!  So I was escorted out of the holding room, and Steven and his hot air machine took a little ride into “twilight”, the anesthesia of the out-patient.  I got a cup of coffee, started working on this blog post and before I knew it, the doctor was out in the waiting room telling me that they were done, Steven was great and that he was already coming back to the real world.

By 9:30 am he was awake finished and the proud owner of a new tri-fusion port.  It’s the Mother of Chemo ports and he’d be the king of the keg party if he had the energy for that type of thing.  This is the magic portal into his new life…makes it seem not so yucky looking, doesn’t it?  BTW – the hang-y things stay.  He’s now got a three-legged octopus hanging off his tittallery region!  Suddenly nipple piercing seems wimpy!IMG_1073

widgetIf you would like to help me take more time away from work and have more time home caring for Tumor Boy writing about our adventures with Cancer, we’d be so very grateful if you’d visit our Go Fund Me Page. Our insurance has a lot of loopholes for things that aren’t covered, and my job has no loopholes for being able to work from home! And I’m gonna do whatever I have to do to keep my husband around. After all, I just got him house broken!

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Extreme Makeover – Cancer Edition

IMG_0859 What a week it’s been.  Last Sunday I drove to Orlando and dropped all three girl dogs off with my wonderful son-in-law who took the bullet for me and did what I could not bear to do.  He drove to the west coast of Florida to relocate my beloved girl dogs.  I was able to send Lucy back to the breeder who made her, and Maritza and Zoey were welcomed to join her for placement into homes in which they would receive the attention they deserve.  It was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it feel any better.  I couldn’t even look in the rear view mirror on the way to Matt, because I felt like I’d turn around and race home if I made eye contact with any one of them.  I barely remember transferring them to his car, ISteven in bed with mask do remember him giving me a huge bear hug, which just made me crack.  I certainly don’t remember driving home.  I do remember the huge pile of damp Kleenex on the seat next to me that I had to dump in the trash, so I must have been bawling my eyes out.  I just keep trying to focus on the important reason for the decision.  I need to channel all my energy, love and caring into keeping Steven well.  He was so beat up when he arrived in the hospital that they had to mask him up to get him to the room without anyone sharing a germ with him!

IMG_0972Steven was in really bad shape for the first 4 days in the hospital.  He received what seemed like gallons of blood, IV drips of antibiotics, potassium, platelets and probably a little Spic & Span to clean up his blood.  It took a couple of days for his skin to go from grey to white to pink to normal.  And every time he seemed to feel a little energy, he’d get wiped out from overzealously texting me.  By Wednesday night I was starting to get really nervous.  His progress seemed so slow that I thought he’d be in the big house forever!  I could only visit him for about an hour IMG_0975each evening until he was shooing me off because he just didn’t have the energy to stay alert.

I was so worried that I texted Dr. Sprawls and asked him to call me.  Earlier in the week I was able to get a speakerphone visit with him and Steven one morning during rounds.  The doc was very pleased with Steven’s progress, but the rest of my updates were via Steven which was really messing me up.  Chemo brain is a lot like Brian Williams…inaccurate reporting!  Again the doctor told me that this was all pretty normal, albeit pretty sucky.  He told me I didn’t need to worry about Steven’s infection any more because it was under control even if it seemed to be moving out slowly.  Of course that only made me ask him to tell me what I should worry about.  I wish I could stop thinking that every report was a trick answer!  The doctor told me I should concentrate on worrying about giving up my dogs until I got that under control.  Somehow, his understanding of the emotional overload I’ve been under made me feel better about all of it.

Hospital movie seatsAnd then Steven asked me on a date.  On Thursday he called before I left for work and asked me to stop on the way to see him to pick up some non-hospital food for me so we could have dinner together. He texted me throughout the day, so proud of the plans he was making.  We were going to watch a movie after dinner so he arranged moving seating hospital style for us!  We haven’t had a date for a while, so this was a pretty sweet gesture under the circumstances!  And just so I wouldn’t freak me out when I arrived, he broke the news viaSteven selfie-hair falling out photo – Oh, yeah!  My hair is falling out!

I sat across the room a bit so I didn’t have to wear a mask, and we ate and talked like normal people…in hospital gowns.  His of the patient variety and mine of the quarantine variety.  We we going to watch a movie after dinner, but first I had big date plans for him.  I suited up completely with mask and gloves, moved him over to the other side of the room to a chair, IMG_0973draped him in towels and shaved his head.  If his hair was starting to fall out and his pillow always looked like a drain in a high school locker room shower, I can fix that!  Hairy pillow – Not sexy!  Doing the honors was priceless!

Steven looked good bald in 2004 and he still looks pretty dapper to me.  He took it like a champ and even let me take some mug shots.  It was a little hard for him to yuk it up with me because all the buzzing gave him a massive headache.  And he tires pretty easy so the makeover seemed like a day’s work IMG_0978to him.  Of course the nursing staff has been very attentive to him since they all feel pretty proud that he didn’t let him kick the bucket during his first 24 hours there!  That always seems to bring a great togetherness to the group, wouldn’t you say?  So his favorite nurse, Hannah, just poked her head in as we were finishing and asked if he was having any pain.  He told her he had a pretty bad headache and she was back with some horse tranquilizers within minutes.  So there went the movie.  We only had about 30 minutes in the chairs, holding hand to glove…and then he conked out.  I helped him back into bed before he started to go down for the count and I slipped out the door, pretty grateful for the time we had.

IMG_0979So what a difference a week makes.  He’s coming home tomorrow, he feels better and can actually walk and get up by himself.  That’s huge!  I put him in the wheelchair and rolled him out of here last Friday.  I had dogs to round up and secure so we could get out the door and a dozen things that needed to be done for them before we could leave.  He was in pain, weak and hanging on by a thread.  And tomorrow he’ll be back to a quiet house, with hopefully fewer cooties, definitely safer for padding around the floor without tripping on a squeaky toy, bone or stealth girl dog, and he’ll have my complete attention.

What a makeover it’s been.  And we’re still just starting!

 

If you want to help me take more time away from work and have more time home caring for Tumor Boy widgetand writing about our adventures with Cancer,  we’d be so very grateful if you’d visit our Go Fund Me Page. Our insurance has a lot of loopholes for things that aren’t covered, and my job has no loopholes for being able to work from home!  And I’m gonna do whatever I have to do to keep my husband around.  After all, I just got him house broken!

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Big Decisions – Hard Decisions

IMG_0958I don’t even feel bad anymore for missing work.  I was up and drinking coffee Thursday morning just looking at him sleeping.  His skin had taken on a grayish hue which isn’t as distinguished as the gray in his hair.  Actually, the hair is a hot mess because he hasn’t had the strength to let me take him to his barber to have it shaved off.  I can see where it’s thinning already from lying around all day.  His current style is all Cosmo Kramer, only without the witty repartee!  I was just about to hit the shower when he woke up.  I told him I thought I’d go to work at the design center, and he assured me that he’d be ‘fine’.  But, he hadn’t convinced me and I couldn’t stop thinking about the day before.  He couldn’t have possibly gone from totally helpless to “fine” over night.  So I asked him if he was just saying that I should go so I wouldn’t feel guilty.  “Yeah, kinda” was the answer I got.

So we always have to play this ‘what if’ game.  What if I didn’t go to work th-2and was here all day.  Would you feel better or worse.  “Better”…so there you are. I didn’t even have to take the game to round 2.  I decided to just stand guard from now until Monday when we go to Gainesville to meet with the Bone Marrow Transplant Team.  We already lost 2 more weeks because of Steven’s last hospital stay.  He’s scheduled to go back into the hospital next Tuesday for the second 4 day round of 24 hour a day chemo.  I don’t anticipate him feeling better suited for a 3 hour drive right after that.  He’s already pretty low, I can’t imagine what I’ll be getting back when the release him next time.  I swear to God, it’s like watching a human science experiment!  But I do know that if anything happens to him when he’s home alone, I’ll never forgive myself.

IMG_0960I’m getting pretty nurse-y.  I did the sponge bath thing while he was in bed.  He’s blacked out and fallen in the bathroom so many times that he’s just afraid of the shower at this point.  I moved him around so I could change the sheets, and in the last 2 days I’ve taken charge of his medications so I know he’s taking all the right things at all the right times.

Luckily my team in the design center is covering my work load like champs.  I can’t be more grateful that I don’t have to worry about anything there.  I get an occasional phone call for back up verification on unclear issues, but for the most part I’m left to concentrate on Steven.

I was planning on staying out of the office on Friday anyway.  I didn’t have any clients scheduled and Steven had a blood test on his calendar.  I didn’t want another dog escape or doggie medication ransack so I just decided it would be best to do this myself.  (See It’s Going to Be Alright)  Everything was buttoned up at home and I whisked Steven off in his magic wheelchair to drain off a few vials of blood.IMG_0963

I hadn’t counted on passing Dr. Sprawls in the hall on the way to the test.  He took one look at Steven and banished us to the hospital…I don’t know if it was the weakly posture in the chair, the pained look on Steven’s face or the baseball hat and sunglasses with the skin tone that made him look like a stand-in for Weekend at Bernie’s.  Whatever it was, we were back in our old stomping grounds of the ER at Wuestoff Hospital within 30 minutes.

IMG_0965Apparently Steven picked up some kind of cootie somewhere.   He’d been to the oncology office on Monday and Tuesday and who knows what kind of germ might have been exhaled in the waiting room from one of the caregivers killing time while their ward was getting pumped up with chemo juice.  Or he could have just touched something contaminated.  My biggest fear, though is that he got something from a dog lick.  The nurse in the ER assured us that mouths of dogs are cleaner than human mouths.  I don’t really doubt that, however I hadn’t mentioned the doggie part of my last post to her ( A Couple Of Firsts for Me Today! )  No matter how clean a dog kiss may or may not be, I don’t think that goes for a dog mouth that had a dead rat in it!  The tests came back and Steven had bacteria in his blood.  The doctor always uses special terms for me and what I asked him what that meant he said Steven had shit in his blood.  Real shit?  He never seriously answered that, however we live with butt lickers, so it’s not out of the question!

We left our house at 10:30 and it was now 4:30 PM.  We were still in the ER IMG_0964and a room was imminent, but I knew it would still be way past dark when I arrived home.  So I called my sister agin to run over to my house and turn on some lights for the dogs.  Between that little issue and the dog excitement of the last week, the conversation just happened between Steven and me…we need to find new homes for the dogs.  I’ve been thinking about it on and off for the past couple of months.  My plate it full enough with a job that adds an additional 3 hours to each day in my commute, Steven’s inability to care for himself and the household chores that pile up naturally.  The dogs have been really putting me over the edge.  And the antics of the week have completely defeated me.  We agreed not to make any permanent decisions until he was off the pain killers.  And then I got a text from my sister.  The dogs were fine, she put on some lights…but she found a pill bottle cap and 5 hexagonal shaped pink pills in the staging area.  WTF?  I cleaned the place like an OCD candidate.  Where did they get pills?  I never did check the back yard the day of the pill incident…but who would be looking for medication in the outdoor foliage?

IMG_3450Before I changed my mind, I contacted the breeder from whom we adopted Lucy.  I texted her the very short version of our sitch, and she has already texted back that she would be happy to take Lucy.  I haven’t been able to speak with her yet, because we’ve both been pretty tied up thus far.  But I’m hoping that by this afternoon we’ll have the most active of the bunch off to a home who can match her zest for life.  Killing me.  Can’t even write about it yet.  Can’t talk about it without tears, but I know it’s the right thing to do.  She is the worst and repeat offender.  She can’t help it.  She’s only 6 months old and has been spending her days with a sick man who can’t give her the human direction on expected behavior.  She’s so smart and so loving that it’s just not fair to her.  Crying again…sorry…BRB!

With any luck, this wonderful woman will take them all to find new homes. DOGS IN BED I just don’t have the time or the strength to do it myself.  I cry whenever I think about it.  But I know it’s right.  When Janet found the pill bottle cap with 5 tablets…I swear it was a sign from God.  And then at 3 am last night I was awakened by a crunching noise.  Lucy got out of bed, took herself outside to pee and then came back in, took my cheater glasses off my night table and was snacking on them.  The third pair this month that she’s destroyed.  Thank you God.  Her warm cuddly body as I was falling asleep was making me weak and had me reconsidering our decision!  Pills & glasses!  What the hell is next?  When I get home from the hospital today, I’m expecting a doggie party going on with the Animal Planet station blaring on the TV and everyone getting doggie fart drunk on Milk Bones and Rawhide!

2013-01-22 17.47.48So I’m here with Steven, waiting for the doctor to make rounds, watching him sleep and worrying about what is going on at home right now with no human supervision. I had really hoped that a puppy would bring new life to my oldest dog.  I had no idea she would bring a whole new idea catalog of “bad dog” hijinks that both of the older ones had grown out of and forgotten.  It seems like I have 3 puppies instead of 1.  And they are no longer a pack…they are a gang.

It’s really no wonder I drink!

 

 

If you want to help me take more time away from work and home caring for Tumor Boy and the Whippet widgetwidgetCircus, we’d be so very grateful if you’d visit our Go Fund Me Page. Our insurance has a lot of loopholes for things that aren’t covered, and my job has no loopholes for being able to work from home! And when I say this crew needs me, I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m the glue that holds this crazy group together!

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