And, we’re back in 3-2-1….
I’ve been looking for work…probably in all the wrong places. So for now, I’m still a slug and quite frankly it suits me. Steven is getting some energy back and we’ve been trying to get our home back to an organized state after the whirlwind that has been our lives. I miss my dogs like crazy, but it’s been over 6 months since they were adopted out, I’m finally able to clean the lint trap in the dryer without finding enough dog hair to build a new pup!
And I can finally look at pictures of them without bursting into tears. That is an accomplishment of monumental proportion!
Also on the up side, I’ve been thrilled to spend so much time with Steven. After 3 years of way too much time apart with him in hospitals and me in the car driving for hours to and from a job that was sucking the life out of me, I like being home! In retrospect, it was a blessing to have had the opportunity to make some decent money for a while and get good enough insurance coverage to manage a stem cell transplant. I went back into my insurance EOBs, just for shits an giggles, just to see the “retail” cost of this transplant which I think is considered reading fiction so anyone going into this type of procedure should read this with a grain of salt, but whatever, I had the time! From initial visits for stem cell collection which took 4 full days, the 37 days in Shands hospital and then the weeks of daily out patient visits while we stayed in Hope Lodge, we garnered a 5″ pile of claims and we racked up about $3 million in costs billed to insurance (again…we all know are storybook numbers, right?). I’m sure it would have be a good deal less without the added cost and excitement of the C-diff infection and the Cardiac SWAT team incident ($131 K for that day alone!!!) So to celebrate that outrageous and mind boggling number, and because our COBRA insurance is now paying at 100%, I treated myself to some arthroscopic knee surgery on both knees to fix years of overuse, misuse and fun! WTF…if I’m paying for COBRA I’m using it!
What a pair we make! I’m walking OK after I get warmed up, but I do start out each and every new steps with a few “Grandpappy Amos” moves that should embarrass me, but just crack me up! Somehow this entire year has knocked the vanity right out of me. I’ve learned to “own” me…skin tags and all! I never thought I’d admit that we have a handicap placard and sometimes I have to use it for ME!
Steven moves faster than me, but wears out way quicker. Our first few outings were something to behold. On one of our first trips to Lowe’s he pooped out in the hardware aisle and couldn’t walk another step. I found him a perch and had to go get one of those “go carts” for him…only I couldn’t figure out how to get it to move…Bee Tee Dubs – DO NOT TRY TO DRIVE AWAY WHEN IT’S STILL PLUGGED IN!!!! #learningthehardway!
Our adventures will continue long into the future and we’ll both get better like fine wine. But for now we celebrate the baby steps…Steven’s got hair and I can kinda walk without limping.
Alexis will be squirting out our first grandson any day now and life is good. We are excited, happy and looking ahead to all kinds of good things. There are days that I just can’t believe the crotchety old grouch-bitch that used to live inside my head seems to have disappeared into the mist. I know I’ve been consciously trying to pack up all my old baggage and crap during this “hiatus” but seriously? Who ever thought it would work?
However…Steven can’t work for now and probably won’t for a while. I haven’t found a job that I can land, and we should be panicked, but I’m not and neither is he. What’s with that? I think it helps that God keeps the orchids blooming in our yard reminding us that we’re SO not in charge of any of this and that it’s all coming together the way it’s supposed to. So I’m glad to be back writing and I hope all our BMT cohorts on the front side of the experience can look at us as positive reinforcement to hang tough, be positive and believe it’s going to work out…even if it doesn’t seem possible.
We haven’t watered, fertilized, pruned, clipped or tended these orchids in years. We decided to let God do the gardening for us because we just couldn’t MAKE it work. Sometimes you just got to believe!
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