There is major Reduction in Force (aka RIF) going on within the company in Orlando. I was the first casualty. Unfortunately, that kind of thing is unexpected and is so overwhelming that things happen that are beyond immediate comprehension. One of which was the signing of the release paperwork. Apparently in my stupor, I signed away any rights to to say, publicize or think anything negative about said company. So thus far I have been silent. However after 2 weeks and lots of martinis, I can now say “Thank You” for releasing me.
Thank you for giving me my personality back. Over the last 3 years I had become so very negative. It was never obvious to me until I spent time with Steven living in the hospital at Shands. While he was literally flirting with death trying to fight the c. Diff. infection, I realized that I was more level and in control with him there than I ever felt in my “regular life.” After 2 short weeks, I now feel like me again after being canned, so thank you for giving me back to me.
Thank you for giving me the time to spend 24/7 with Steven now that his recovery is coming along. I’m so grateful to have the time to be with him while he regains his strength and stamina. I know that being cut off from our health insurance during this critical recovery time probably seems inhumane but it is a great opportunity for me to work on my bookkeeping skills in order to juggle funds to afford the mammoth COBRA payments. After reflecting on that, I say “Thank You.” I’ll be a better person for this.
Thank you for the rocky road of management changes within the division that have helped me to be more flexible. After a dozen fearful times of suggested termination by the client to whom I was assigned, I thank you for the nerves of steel I have developed. I have learned more here than I would as a contestant on Naked and Afraid! Living among snakes and vermin is the crux of Naked and Afraid. Thank you for allowing me to keep my skivvies!
Thank you for the schooling on the reality of the FLMA regulations. I mistakenly thought that I could not be laid off during this protected time. I was foolish to think I was safe during Steven’s illness and really thought that if the quarterly panic of losing my job happened on schedule, I would merely be transferred to another position. Thank you for not placing me into another opportunity. I could be working in a warehouse but Thank You for not considering that, or any other position as an option for me.
Thank you for having the goofy little manager give me the news. I would have been so much more upset if someone with stature within the design center department did the deed. Lucky for me, the messenger never made eye contact with me while haltingly explaining that this “Reduction in Force” was “just business” and had nothing to do with my performance. It made me feel so much better to know you think of me as an outstanding employee and are just letting me go because so much business has been lost by the division. Thank you for that buoy. Great to hang on to something like that! You can’t imagine how that made me feel.
And thank you for sending the giggly branch manager to give me the news. It was a great exercise in my detective skills in figuring out what to do once the shock had worn off. If he had given me the 14 page departure packet, I never would have had the opportunity to work on my research skills. Thank you for getting me off my butt to refresh my googling abilities!
And most of all, thank you for doing this to me for the second time. I can be a slow learner but I do learn best by repetition so thank you for that. Manager boy suggested I check your website for future job openings. My daughter has threatened to kill me if I do. Thank you for opening that door of communication within my family.
My only insight to all of this is that RIF may make companies feel better. Calling this situation “Laid Off” almost sounds like a colloquialism for “getting screwed.” But the truth of the matter is, tomorrow when I get up and DON’T go to work, in the words of Donald Trump, “You’re fired.”
On a totally unrelated subject, I have a query to my IT friends. When you post with an iPhone, how come auto correct changes “Fuck You” to “Thank You?”
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