You’d think that right now I’d be either crying, freaking out or crawling on my belly like a reptile looking for a stray Xanax under the sofa. If you’re wondering why I’d look for Xanax on the floor, keep reading!
Steven had an unexpected visit to Dr. Sprawls today so he made arrangements for a friend to take him. That was a huge relief to me, yet I was a little apprehensive that Steven would be able to get his shit together well enough to get out of the house without me. He’s been like a dementia patient ever since he got out of the hospital. If I hadn’t researched the chemo he was given to know the side effects, I would have thought that they broke him!
Contrary to popular belief, I really don’t like nagging. I know that sounds weird because I’m so good at it! But just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you want that to rule your life. I’m also good at sleeping but I can’t do it all day long!
So when I left for work this morning I did not give Steven the list of dos and don’ts for leaving the house. Do slide the pocket door in the hallway closed, so the dogs can’t get down the hall to the bedrooms. Do slide the pocket door to the laundry room closed so they don’t pull all the tee shirts on the dry rack off the bar, out the dog door and into the back yard. And do make sure when you come home that you have New York (Steven’s nickname for his bud) put the dogs in Whippet World before you try to get the wheelchair back in the house. Oh yeah! DON’T forget to do everything I told you to DO!
Shoulda, coulda woulda!
I had Steven call me when he got into the “little room” with the doctor. He put me on speaker phone and it was great. I was able to “be there” for the visit and to hear all the updates. Just for the record, the doctor was ecstatic about the progress from the first round of chemo. Steven’s lymph nodes and tumors are “remarkably, hugely, greatly” smaller. Doctor’s words, so YAY!
Steven got some new meds for the extreme, debilitating tiredness and a shot because his red blood count is 0. Zero. Zip. Nada. I’m not a lab tech but I do know that every aspect of the blood test has some number attached to it. The only Zero we’re looking for is in the cancer department! Not so much with the blood! So a shot of Procrit and Steven was glad to be on his way home.
I texted him to let me know when he was safe at home and back in bed and he phoned just moments later. I could hear the panic so high that I couldn’t understand the words he was trying to get out. On the third time around I finally got it. “Zoey’s gone.” She got out as he was trying to get in. What did he expect. One Whippet is faster than any human over 50. Three Whippets are a team that guarantee that someone’s going to make a break for it. I asked if New York was looking for her and he could barely get the yes out as he tried to break part 2 of the saga to me. “Pills everywhere! They got into my med box. They took all my pills. OMG!!! He’s got everything from Morphine to stool softeners. None of it vet approved and I was not sure which would be worse! And I wasn’t sure what “took them” meant either. Took them? Like Jimi Hendrix? Or took them, like Bonnie and Clyde? As I ran out of my office I texted “LOCK THEM IN WHIPPET WORLD,” in CAPS. He replied, “I cannot.” OMG!!! That, my friends, is not him being difficult. That’s cancer tired! I’ve been watching it all week and it’s awful. His body just doesn’t want to work for him.
I drove home from Orlando with God riding shotgun! I miraculously slowed several times seconds before spotting a Florida Highway Patrol car. It made me laugh a little to think I could never explain what was REALLY happening to make me speed, because who would believe it? I was also amused at how calm I was. I was speeding, but I was in control. I knew Steven was freaking out, too weak to deal with any of it, and I managed to assure him that it would all be fine. And I believed it. I’d say I was calmly being nervous. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it fits.
I drove around Satellite Beach in the exact pattern I travel when I walk the girls. I looked down the side streets, in the shade under the trees and asked every crossing guard if she’d seen my white dog. I finally drove home with the hope that Zoey would be waiting there. She was not. I was taken aback when I got in the house. It looked like a party scene from Valley of the Dolls! There were handfuls (or pawfuls) of tablets, caplets, and plastic drug store bottles with labels chewed off and teeth marks aerating the containers strewn everywhere. I should have taken a photo, because it was something to behold. Maritza and Lucy were finally locked in Whippet even though Steven told me he could not. He found that little bit of residual energy to keep them safe from themselves, and I realized that since I had been driving for over an hour, if they had actually eaten any of the pills, they would either be in comas or be projectile crapping a Jackson Pollack design through the crate!
I was just putting on sneakers when my phone rang. A vet’s office in Indian Harbour Beach, the abutting town, gave me the phone number of Amy who found Zoey. The white dog was running around nekked (without her collar) so she had no ID, but that microchip that we had implanted had all the info in a one second scan. Amy couldn’t have been nicer and since she was leaving the vet’s office and already had Zoey in her car, she delivered her to my doorstep.
I banished Zoey to Whippet world with the others and she was glad to go in. Her little adventure must have been exhausting. They found her about 7 miles away! And then I started cleaning up the pills and bottles. And I should have been a mess or pissed or numb, but I really believed it when I told Steven it would be alright. I knew I could take care of it as soon as I got home. And now I really feel better because I have that same feeling about him! This isn’t going to be fun, but it is doable. Hopefully with no projectile crapping, thank you very much.
If you want to help me take more time away from work and home caring for Tumor Boy and the Whippet Circus, we’d be so very grateful if you’d visit our Go Fund Me Page. Our insurance has a lot of loopholes for things that aren’t covered, and my job has no loopholes for being able to work from home! And when I say this crew needs me, I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m the glue that holds this crazy group together!
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