When Did I Get SO Fat?

I am LOVING the blog format of communicating.  Seriously, it’s the best of all worlds. It gives me a writing outlet that is PERFECT.  I’m the writer AND editor, so no one ever cuts anything…except ME.  Since I think everything that flows out of me is brilliant, I never cut much!  I get the final decision on whether something is appropriate (almost always, the answer is, “Hell, Yes!”).  And, the only deadlines I have are the ones I give myself, and I’m extremely tolerant and understanding when it comes to procrastination and ME!

It’s also the perfect comedy outlet because I can fill the page with all kinds of snarky comments, and I can’t hear any judgmental groans.  And, even though I can’t hear your riotous laughter and thunderous applause, that noise is generally playing on a loop in my head whenever I’m spewing, so…there!  And the best, or so I thought until recently, is that I don’t have to put on makeup…or even get dressed for that matter, to do my little schtik.  It’s better than RADIO because I can do this in bed…in my jammies! 

Unfortunately, there is a lot to be said for the vanity issue of being on stage.  When you know people (translate: bitchy women in the audience) are judging the way you look on stage, the self control and willpower to stay in shape comes easily.  Not so much when you have a husband who adores you, a stagnant “real job” (OK -that excuse is gone…so BITE ME) and a great talent in cooking delicious meals.

And then something happens that makes you shout, “HOLY CRAP!  WHEN DID I GET SO FAT”?  And here it is…

This is a post pirated from my daughter’s blog.  And, I’m sure some of you are going to be jealous that Mother’s Day is mini-vacation in Theme Park World for me.  Quite frankly, I’ll admit to being spoiled.  But I can always take away something negative from the anything fabulous, it’s one of my little gifts.  So when I saw the photos of Mother’s Day that Alexis posted I almost plotzed!  She writes this really sweet post in her blog, and all I can see is my zaftig shape.  Take a look and a read:

THE MOTHER’S DAY FLOWER AND GARDEN TRADITION CONTINUES

Back during my days at the “mouse house” I started a tradition with my mom for Mother’s Day.  Each year we would go to the EPCOT Flower & Garden Festival to catch up, see the flowers, and enjoy lunch together.  This tradition continued every year until last year.  Right around Mother’s Day last year I found out that I would be changing jobs and desperately needed a full work attire overhaul.  For the first time ever we broke our streak and spent Mother’s Day of 2011 being true girls and shopping for dresses, suit jackets, new heels and all kinds of accessories.  Now, in 2012, the Flower & Garden tradition continued with a few alterations.

This year the party grew from 2 to 4 as Matt and his mother joined us.  We had a lovely Mother’s Day brunch before getting to the park, so it was totally appropriate to kick off the in-park festivities with a Mother’s Day margarita!

Now that is some Mother – Daughter bonding at it’s finest!  We decided before getting to the park that day that in order to truly be good kids we needed to introduce our Moms to Mexico’s tequila bar so it was our first stop of the afternoon.

I would say that the Moms approved.  We sipped our beverages, enjoyed the cool air conditioning and laughed it up before heading out to see the rest that the festival had to offer for the day.

It was a cloudy day, but the rain held off and the weather provided us plenty of shade so no one got burnt.  Luckily it wasn’t as crowded as it was in past years.  We still got to go into the expo and it was a wonderful opportunity to learn more about Bonsai trees before Matt’s mom got her very first one for an anniversary gift.  The Bonsai club gave her all kinds of thorough information to help her in her selection of the perfect one a few days later.

Being there earlier in the day gave me an opportunity to finally get Matt to see one of the Voices of Liberty shows.  He’s only had the pleasure of seeing them during the holidays when they participate in other shows, so it was cool to take him to the American Adventure so that he could see them in their normal daily action.

It was a terrific way to bring the tradition back and I’m glad that we all had such a good time together.  Not sure how you beat Mother’s Day margaritas, but Father’s Day is just around the corner so we better start brainstorming.   THE END

So there you are, it’s 29 years after I birthed her and it looks like she’s still inside me…in the actual size she is today!  I gotta do something about this.  And to make things worse, Steven has been charting his caloric intake since we returned from Tulsa in December and has slowly, but surely, lost almost 25 pounds.  I’ve lost 2. Shit!  I hate it when that happens.  So I’m setting up a new page called, not surpisingingly, WHEN DID I GET SO FAT?  It’s going to be a little more “earthy” than my regular journal posts (read that as more salty language because it looks like I’m retaining water, and the body of water is the ENTIRE freakin’ Atlantic Ocean!!!)  

My intent is to journal my trip though this field of flubber and hopefully entertain you and me enough to make cutting calories a little less painful.  I have tons of knowledge on how to do this, I just don’t use it…so maybe if I try to trick myself into thinking I’m doing it for you, it’ll be a WIN-WIN for all of us!

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One thought on “When Did I Get SO Fat?

  1. Hi Alexandra, What a great post – witty and entertaining. I am so with you! Have put on weight too as I've "matured" and now finding that I can't eat whatever I like (I love eating and lots of it!). Like you said we know what to do, but the hard thing is getting in the right mindset to do it! Once our head and heart are in agreement, it's guns blazing (I actually have a draft post sitting in my folder on this very topic). I'm making good progress at the moment, and it's a huge help that my partner and adult son (who have also put on weight) are on the same wavelength. I look forward to reading more :-)PS: I love your daughters post too, great photo's!. Weren't you spoilt!

    Like

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