In the spirit of full disclosure, we watch O’Reilly and we get our news from Fox News. You’re welcome to draw your own conclusions from that little snippet, but this isn’t meant to be my politics. Today it’s less about what’s happening in the world and more about how events are presented. I’m fair and balanced. I make fun of it all, especially now, with everything soooo bollixed up.
I have a real problem with news. I think it’s all slanted, not to the right or to the left, but to the dramatic. Whatever it takes to get and/or keep viewers is usually gory, scary and depressing, because that’s what THEY think we want. You know that crap isn’t healthful, right? Patients don’t need that negativity, caregivers can’t take that negativity, and regular people will end up as patients if they get drawn into the negativity. Rule of thumb: If you’re watching the news and your butt puckers so much that you get sucked into your sofa, the news is too scary!
So bring out the sarcasm. Let’s start being a little more politically incorrect and laughing about it. America is full of both pinheads and patriots who are all too serious. Loosen up while you love this country. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else anyway, would you? I couldn’t live in England. It’s too rainy; and if the wonky dental work is the result of their socialized medicine, I’m too vain and Steven’s lymphoma is too precarious. Russia is out, too cold…and I’m spoiled by Cottonelle. I want to be able to get as much as I want, whenever I want. Now in France, wine trumps water as their national beverage and I REALLY like that…but I also REALLY like to shower every day…and so should the Sasquatch standing next to me in the elevator. Then there’s China…too soon? Let’s just say that I live in Florida, I’d take a hurricane over a tsunami any day; P.S.- soy sauce makes me bloat
My soloution is easy. We need more of the good old days! We need Ben Cartwright, Joe Mannix and Jim Rockford. You tip your hand to your age depending upon your familiarity with these men. If you’re close to AARP age, you definitely recognize the names. If you are young with a sleeping disorder and an addiction to TVLand may know them. If you’re stumped, you play too many video games!
The “Good Old Days” were the good old days because things were simple. On Ben’s ranch there was an occasional cattle rustler who had to be run off by Hoss and Little Joe, but no “Identity Rustler” who could hack into your bank account and drain you! The bad guys wore black hats, had bad complexions and showed up chewing tobacco and wreaking havoc. They didn’t try to disguise themselves as Nigerian royalty requesting your social security number!
Joe Mannix, a man’s man in a suit and tie, solved his investigations in one hour, including commercials. He was tough, fair, and always got his man. Good always triumphed over evil and evil looked smarmy, and talked out of the side it’s mouth. There were no terrorists looking to take over the world. Crimes were simple, like robbing a bank or ‘offing a stoolie.’ You could watch the show wrap itself up in a neat little package and be able to sleep without dreams of pipe bombs and anthrax. (anthrax-the poison, not the band..And poison-the toxin, not the band)
My favorite, Jim Rockford, was a piece of work! Smart mouthed and casual with side kicks who were also quirky, he always managed to close his case without getting too beat up. He could see a little more of the grey areas in life than Joe and Ben, but when it came right down to it, he was a good guy who always did the right thing. That’s what made it all so simple. It always landed right side up!
These were the men who got Steven through the worst part of his chemotherapy. We NEVER watched the news during that time. Almost and entire year, and the world didn’t fare any better or worse during that time. “It is what it is” – a really annoying saying, but it’s true. We ‘ordinary people’ can’t change the world right now. We can change how we view it, and how much we view it. You want better news? Stop watching. Eventually they’ll get the hint that all this negativity isn’t getting good ratings, and they’ll stop. TV news, politicians and even terrorists can’t survive without our attention, so ignore them.
Concentrate on the important things, family, friends, spring, health and all things positive. Draw strength from feel-good drama like Kirstie Alley falling down on Dancing with the Stars, but getting right back up and dancing her butt off. Charlie Sheen may be a train wreck but we need start having his optimism and attitude of WINNING! DUH!!! Every Adonis with tiger blood coursing through his veins knows it. Let that be you.
If I’ve offended, let me finish off the job. I’m glad I’m allergic to cats. Otherwise I might be tempted to get one just so I could name him Barack. What better name for a Wussy-cat. (Yes, that was Groucho glasses and mustache disguising a dirty joke. Note: If the lights were dimmed and there was a two drink minimum, I wouldn’t have said ‘wussy’ and you would have laughed!…and THAT was political. But it’s funny…I don’t care who you are!)