I’m An Addict

It’s not drugs.  Most of my drug use is OTC to relieve the aches and pains that are residual damage from fun times in my younger days.  Although I will admit that I do enjoy a hint of Xanex every now and then, to relieve the mental aches and pains that are residual damage of being a grown up.  Yet, I don’t think it’s an addiction, it’s just laziness.  The best way to deal with stress is to relax, and isn’t that why God created Xanex?

It’s not alcohol either.  I look forward to a glass of wine or a martini as the sun gets low in the sky.  But I’m pretty sure I’m not addicted to that.  I don’t actually like to be drunk, just loosey goosey.  Sometimes I think it’s not even the effect of alcohol I like.  It’s other peoples’ perception of the influence of alcohol.  If people think you’re a little tipsy, you can get away with a lot more mouthing off!

I don’t gamble unless we go to Vegas, and even then I don’t like to lose money.  So I quit pretty fast if the blackjack dealer is giving off bad Karma.  And I don’t fool around with other men because I’m married to the man I want to be with.

But I’ve just realized that I’m addicted to coloring my hair.  Seriously.  This is the first time since I was in high school that I’m actually walking around with hair that just comes out of my head.  No dyes, highlights, streaks, lowlights, bleach or stripes (don’t ask…it was the 80’s).  And I’ve had so many compliments on my hair color that you would think I’d just be satisfied.  Especially since I really like the color.  But I want to change it.  I don’t know why, I just do.  I think about it every day.  I imagine it every time I pass a mirror.  I even got a little app on my phone so I can change my hair color on my head shot, just to play.  But that is still not enough.  I can’t walk down the hair care aisle of Walgreens without breaking out in a sweat.  I have my hairdresser on speed dial and I’m becoming the “Queen of  Hang Up”.  I have to face it…I’m an addict.

GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT GRAY HAIR WITHOUT A CHANGE, TO CHANGE THE SIZE OF MY BUTT INSTEAD, AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW I’M FABULOUS!

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